You need the back story for the intention of this post.
Growning up with my step father was.. challenging. When him and my mom first started dating he was infatuated with me, and how great I was. He’d take me bike riding and make little forts in his living room, he’d let me ride in shopping carts and zoom around, and my mum would laugh and tell us to stop being ‘hooligans’.
Once they got married, things changed. He started treating my mom differently, but he was still ok with me. Then once my baby brother was born, he flipped. He turned very violent, he’d slap me across the face, he threw me down a hallway and threw a bucket at my face so that I had a cut across it, he’d hit me with his metal belt when I had just gotten out of the bath because I was wet so it’d hurt more, he’d take my light bulb out because I was terrified of the dark, he told me I was fat and disgusting, he’d force me to call him ‘dad’ and when I didn’t he’d go nuts, he once told my friend that she was prettier and smarter than me in front of my face and after that it got around school and kids stopped being friends with me. So much more than this.
Right after they were married and still happy, my last name was changed to his last name so I wouldn’t feel different because I was alone in my surname. When I reached 17 and met my dad for the first time, I begged my mum to let me change my surname to my dads name or even her maiden name, I wanted nothing to do with him. But she always said, ‘No, it’d hurt him so much’ so I never did.
My mum has recently separated from him, and I txt her today asking her if it was ok now, if I changed my surname, and she said yes. SHE SAID YES. I’ve wanted to do this for 5 years consciously and longer sub consciously and she finally said yes.
But now I don’t know what to do. Change it to ‘Denning’ her maiden name, or ‘Adam’ my dads name? My dad didn’t want his name on my birth certificate when I was born, but he’s now in my life.
Kerri-Lynne Denning or Kerri-Lynne Adam
Confusion. I needed to write this down. I’m sorry.